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So we don´t know who has won this election. Ortega devised this funky electoral process because he´s in charge of the electoral process in Nicaragua. Here´s how it works: If a candidate receives 35 percent of the primary and is five percent ahead of the next guy, then that candidate wins. Prior, a candidate needed 40 percent to win the presidency in the primary. Ortega devised this system because he could get a majority.

(Ortega has lost the last three presidential elections with the same percentage of the popular vote -- about 35 to 38 percent. How to win? Change the system.)

At the moment, Ortega is at 38.5 percent. The next guy has five points less. That means he won, right? Well, the papers say no so maybe I don´t understand how this process works after all. In any case, the party continues in the streets, if a little anxiously.

Both Daniel and Montealgre seem to be schmucks. I read Ortega´s stepdaughter testimony alleging that he molested and raped her beggining at age 11. That her mother, Ortega´s current wife, then called her a slut for coming out against Ortega particularly irked me.

That´s not the only reason Ortega rubs me the wrong way. Sure, he´s for the people, but he promises them homes and pay in the form of U.S. dollars. He tells them that he´ll reduce charges on Western Union transfers from $20 to $5. That´s horseshit. Like Western Union is going to agree to that? And what about the other financial institutions? Yeah right.

I also don´t like that Daniel has embraced the Catholic Church after years of proclaiming atheism.(Who becomes Catholic? That´s the sort of religion that you´re born into, not converted into.) Also, he used to be Mr. Super Feminist, but now he´s come out against abortion. He backed a measure passed by the Nicaraguan congress last last month that abolished all abortions, even those resulting from rape or incest.

Montealgre would be a worse choice. He´s a banker in debt. That can only mean one thing -- imminent corruption.

Of the five candidates, Jarquin, the Sandanista dissident, seems most honest. He talks about the Nicaraguan poverty candidly and how he would work with the U.S. to improve the situation. He doesn´t speak about peace, love and flowers but about a plan to maintain stability and reduce corruption. Nor doesn´t oppose abortion because it´s hip to hate on abortion. Then again, easy to be honest when you know you don´t have a shot in hell of winning the election.